~When I'm no Longer needed~

Did you ever felt it?

A lonely feeling,

such as you're not needed anymore.

such as you're an outsider

such as you're not even in the memory

Did you ever felt it?

Really really felt it?

It is as you're like a pick up truck

A pick up truck that saying,

" I'm here. If you need me,just call me and I'll be there"

Is that all I can be?

What a useless friend I am

What a sad friends I had

What a pity self of me

Worthless!

This feeling of sadness

Can't be healed just like that

Even the magical word 'sorry',is useless.

In fact, maybe I'm the one who should apologize.

For being an intruder

For being oversensitive

For being caring

and for being busybody

I mistakenly thought that I am the best friends ever.

Heh, but that's a lie

Waking up from dreaming,

I will face the reality.

The reality of what I am worth for..

~Pernah baca novel?~

Pernah baca novel? Kalau pernah, novel apa yang paling best?

Setiap orang pasti ada novel yang sangat-sangat dia minat kan? If you ask me, then the answer is 'too many'....yup! Too many...

The first novel that I've read was something sound like 'Akademi'...story about teenagers life in an academy..It's not soo...best...just a memory of my first novel.

Then,what's next? Hmm....Kau Yang Satu. Borrowed from my friend. Well, quiet interesting I guess (for teenagers around my age). Kalau someone ask me now, I'll not said it's the best. Because I've found other books that catch my breath.Hmm...more or less.hihi..

Then,what's next...Emm..I started to collect novels and comics..All kind of novel..

Put aside lovey dovey punyer novel...My first novel out of love genre is 'Lambaian Huda'...good reading. It's about a GRO that's trying to repent. The things that make it more touching is its ending. Sad ending. Even so, as a reader, its still acceptable. Sebab dia dah bertaubat dan berubah sebelum pergi menemui penciptaNya.

Kalau berbicara dari sudut cerita thriller plak...I love to read Ramlee Awang Murshid punyer novel. He's good in making me puzzled and in the same time, geram. Well, for me, if the books implement so much feeling in me,then, its a worth for reading. But, lately ni, I like to read the novels written by Lynn Dayana jugak. It's not thriller but its a bit puzzling.

Hmm.....then,we're going to the english novels site...huhee...I really really love The Twilight Saga. Maybe it's because the storyline or maybe I like something a bit fantasy....the first novel I read is Liar Liar Liar...a ghostbumps story..simple and easygoing..not so scary but more to 'what the...'

In conclusionnyer, I think novels is a good thing to read and in the other site, it has its own bad influences...haha...such as 'daydreaming' and 'lovey dovey fantasy'....I love to read novels, but I go through with it,not get into it...there's a different between those two you know.. When I go through, I study each characters and laugh at them. While get into it means, I take them into my dream and start to admiring the story...huh! stupid things to be done!

So then, bacalah novel and learn what's reality and what cannot be a REALITY..

~Cinta apakah ini?~

Human is created with one special things...that is 'feeling'.

Is it that special? Special in our own way or special on its own way?

From 'feeling', we developed love. From 'feeling', we burst out tears. And from 'feeling', we hate others..

Love yang developed towards opposite sex, is it true?

Dari kecil lagi, kita jatuh cinta tanpa henti...malah sebelum kelahiran kita ke dunia lagi, kita sudah jatuh cinta...

Cinta pada Allah s.w.t....Cinta yang satu...

Kemudian bila lahirnya kita ke dunia, perasaan cinta bercambah untuk kali keduanya..

Cinta pada Ibu dan Bapa...yang kemudiannya membuahkan rasa cinta pada adik beradik yang lainnya...

Dan kini setelah dewasa?

Jatuh cinta lagi. Perasaan cinta berbuah kembali?

Pada siapa? Kalau pada 'Si dia' yang ditetapkan Allah s.w.t untuk menemani hidup kita, maka itu adalah kebahagiaan yang akan di bawa sehingga ke akhirat.

Tetapi..

bagaimana jika itu bukan yang ditakdirkan untuk diri ini?

bagaimana jika cinta yang terzahir di hati cuma bisikan halus sang penghasut?

bagaimana jika cinta yang terlahir itu bisa membawaku jauh dari pintu keredhaan-Nya?

Adakah aku akan segera sedar dan kembali ke pangkal jalan?

Kalau benar aku adalah manusia seperti ini, aku panjatkan doa. Setulus hati khas meminta supaya cintaku dikembalikan kepada-Nya. Meminta supaya cinta yang kusemai menjadi taman bebunga ini berupaya untuk menarik seorang penjaga yang akan memimpinku menuju ke jalan Ilahi...

Who's killing the 'mood'?

Did I kill the 'mood'? I don't think so...It's just that 'mood' really loves to fly away from me. Especially the 'mood' that's named HAPPY.

Everyday I went to city campus unarmed. Thinking that everything going to went well. But, as usual, all my dreams turn upside down. Things just happen you know...such as, getting scold by lecturer, assignment++ and tired...

And all that mentioned above, sent away my HAPPY. And the bad news flew down to my leg. The 'mood' who's named FRUSTRATED came over to make friend with me..There you go...my good mood was replaced by the bad mood..

Now...my question is,who's at fault in making this exchange mood behavior?

Is it the lecturer?

is it the assignment?

Or...is it me who cannot control my mind in handling my 'mood'?

~Talking at d Back~

Bercakap di belakang.....itu topiknya. One of my friend said ' geramnya kat orang yang kutuk belakang , tapi depan kita baiknya pulak'..hmm...for me,easy thingkingla...semua manusia memang macam ni. Even me myself. BUT...the important thing is,regret it n seek apology..pergi minta maaf untuk setiap butir bicara tu...Easy said than done kn? Yup! Even aku sendiri pun sangat-sangatlah liat untuk mengakui kesilapan diri.. Hakikatnya, aku tak mengutuk,cuma sesekali perasaan tidak puas hati terbit juga mencapai hati. Dan bilamana rasa itu menyentuh, bibir secara automatiknya berkata-kata. Dan bila ditimbang tara tentang apa yang sudah terlepas bicara, mulalah rasa daging-daging manusia tercicip di lidah. Saat itu....panas api neraka terasa membahang dalam diri. Barulah mahu pergi meminta maaf...Kalau aku duduk di situasi ini, aku akan pergi meminta maaf generally...Generally minta maaf ni, lebih kurangnya macam declare kat dia 'Aku minta maaf kalau ada buat salah papae kat kau. Kot la terkutuk belakang ker...tersakitkan hati ker...and etc..' Jadi..the conclusion is,berhati-hati setiap kali hendak melepaskan kata atau melakukan sesuatu...Ini peringatan untuk diriku sendiri yang sangat mudah meluncur kata, melafaz janji dan mengungkap maaf... Kita semua sangat maklum bahawa kata 'maaf' tidak akan selama-lamanya valid..'Maaf' tetap ada expired date nya yang tersendiri..